Monday, June 20, 2005.

fIrstly.. wisHing Yin Siu a haPpy bIrthdAy!!!!!!!!!!! sHe will b leaving soon for melbourne to study.. hope everything in the coming year would b gd and smooth sailing for her..
haIZ.. today was a damn hard day for me.. y??? it is the deadline for me to accept SIM but i din coz i wasnt daring enuff to open my mouth to seek help from my grandfather and aunts.. i din even haf the courage to remind my dad about the dateline.. i decided to gif it a miss n if my appeal to ntu is not successful.. i would end up nowhere n study a yr later.. i aint really willing to do so but wat to do.. my family doesnt even bother about my future.. i noe it lies in my own hands n i should make the decision myself coz i m old enuff... i beg to differ.. i aint old enuff to do all these stuff by myself n go thru these all alone... until now... then i realised how much i luv to study and i really wished to further my studies if possible.. it is not easy to go thru the horrendous torture within urself when u noe tat all ur frenz would b studying n u will b the only one working.. i m panicking... my only hope is ntu and i pray tat i will b given a chance.. i hope to continue dragon boating or even canoeing.. either one will do.. i really dun like the current me.. with no goal in life.. everyday is juz a waste of life.. but i muz admit tat i haven felt so relax b4 n i luv to haf a few of such slacking days.. tml i will haf to tutor my kids again.. n i mite be taking up another tuition at amk..
suddenly.. i feel tat $$ is a impt factor to survive.. i m being materialistic here but i really feel tat..n i do kinda agree wif one of my senior who said tat $ means alot to living gd in sg.. perhaps all around the world.. i promise tat i would work hard n earn lotsa $ n not let my family or if i had children suffer.. n undergo wat i m going thru now..
Oh ya..i juz cant contain my anger.. i juz dun understand how come my juniors r such selfish animals.. their characters r making me sick.. n i mean it.. fucking sick.. i noe as a senior i should not even interfer wif them.. but i cant stand it.. my character.. lu jian bu ping ba dao xiang zhu.. hahA... i admit my batch haf our own probz.. but we r mature enuff not to do such silly stuff.. they r really kinda immature.. n may i ask them where r their hearts? haf the trng deprive them from being compassionate?? i mean i dun wanna c the team parting in such horrible manner.. it pains me.. coz i was once their drummer when they r yr 1.. n secondly.. i m starting to b disgusted by ppl hu r simply "confidentless" about themselves.. i was once like them n i felt so sad n deprive last time.. dun they feel xin ku always being so negative??? they r not.. but i m sick.. sick of being wif ppl who kept bian di zhi zi de value... it is so urghz!!!! dunno which word to use.. i felt so horrible to say this.. but hey ppl get u get alive???? u wan ppl to say wat to u when u keep degrading urself??? console??? come'on.. do u guyz find comfort in ppl consoling u tat u r simply fine n gd??? find back ur confident?? we r great in our own ways.. degrading urself isnt the best way to feel gd!!!!!!!
anyway.. went to yin siu's hse for party coz she is leaving n reached home at around 5am coz i was out chatting wif sheryl,cassan n xinyu.. n looking at the pressie tat the gals prepared for yin siu really make me pei fu them.. they r so sweet to yin siu.. i kinda envy her.. but i should say my frenz r great as well.. but they juz aint that sweet only.. the birthday present was so wonderful tat i wish i had one myself... not something which cost a bomb.. juz a self painted shoes wif their faces on the shoes.. n a album nicely decorated wif their past yr memories... it is really cool k.. anyway.. i had a great time toking to the babes.. n found somethings tat we had in common.. we all dun really like these gers in sch.. haha.. they r the onli ones wif same feeling so i complained to them.. *oOpz*... noe tat i m bad to badmouth ppl.. juz tat time.. shall not say again.. heHe.. God forgive me for tat.. haHa..

{ 6/20/2005 09:59:00 PM }

narcissism.

jEaNne Neo
14 mAy 1986
TaurUs/tIgresS
mFps, xMss, nyjC and sMa-sch of managemeNt
lOves sunFlowers, roseS, puRple, perFumes, clotHes!!!!, shOpping, eatIng, hangIng out with freNz, golden tAn n my family

materialist.

i want this

A better working environment
Good break
Sleep
10kg of fats off my body
Driving license
New cupboard.. i need more space for my clothes!
Killer abs so i can pierce my bellybutton!
Treat my family to dinner
Degree
A shoes cupboard for all my shoes!!!

voices.

memories.

February 2005 March 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 May 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 December 2008

thanks.

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