Sunday, June 26, 2005.

sOmetimes i do really wonder what kinDa person m i?? m i really like those comments ppl testify me on friendster?? m i tat courageous?? m i tat jiang yi qi?? m i tat gd??? i doubt so.. i haf many bad pts.. juz tat my frenz decided not to keep those mistakes of mine in their hearts... suddenly, felt tat i m overwhelmed by loads of tots.. loads of stupid tots.. loads of "chi xin wang xiang" tots.. i mite seem like those hu is really practical.. n i m definitely one.. but deep down inside me.. i do haf my wildest dreamz.. my utmost desire.. my most daring dreamz.. i haf loads of dream which can onli b dreamz!!! i dream to b rich.. real rich.. i dream to b beautiful and elegant.. those kinda pretty gers when guys would nv take the eyes off u.. i dream to haf superb figure.. one which fits in any clothings n would look gorgeous... i dream to b super clever.. to b able to get gd results and study in oxford uni?? i dream to b a artiste.. to b an idol of many ppl... i dream to find someone hu is so romantic n he is mine.. i m still dreaming.. i m dreaming tat ntu gives me a chance to study in there.. i m still dreaming.. i guess many ppl does tat..
does anyone really noe themselves very well??? i tot i do.. but at the end of my jc 1 life.. i found out tat i dun.. i nv really noe myself.. i nv really show others wat kinda person m i.. i m horrendous.. i scream n yell at siblings.. i always ask them to do this n tat.. i raised my voice whenever i m unhappy.. even to my mom.. i dun dare to do tat to my dad.. i haf a super bad tempered at home.. i gossip about other ppl alot.. i like gers b4.. i do haf the selfish side of me.. the muz win side of me.. the forever haf crushes side of me.. i admit.. i nv stop having crushes on guyz.. i dunno y.. but tat is juz so me.. i m easily moved by guyz.. i m easily attracted to guyz.. feelings come by so easily as compared to others... which leads to loads of misery.. n i mean unnecessary misery..
perhapZ.. it is due to too much misery tat i had alot to hold back b4 liking a guy again.. i nv succeed in being wif the guyz i like all these yrs.. does tat mean tat i always like the wrong guy??? i think so! i nv dare to like guyz anymore.. i m terrified.. or u can say i m humji.. but i really had alot to hold back.. i think thrice b4 convincing myself tat i do really like this guy.. the tot of liking or crushing a guy now simply scares me off.. it was to the extend tat i m kinda afraid of guyz.. n i mean it.. guyz r scary creatures on earth coz they nv really show the emotional side of them or wat they r really thinking of... being single for the past 19 yrs definitely not mean tat i haf no guyz after me.. but all those hu r.. r nv my kinda guy.. which meanz i had no feelings for them at all n it really make me feel horrible trying to tell them the truth.. oso it doesnt feel gd being single when u frenz r attached.. not coz tat i m jealous but deep down inside u when u c them so blissfully attached u wished u haf someone to hold ur hands.. i admit i do envy my frenz coz when they r down/happy/angry/troubled.. their bfs r there for them.. though i noe my frenz r always there for me.. given tat i m quite blessed.. i nv hope to push luck for such stuff esp r/ship... i juz wan a peaceful heart so tat i can enjoy being single..
OOpz.. too much of my own emotions.. but letting it run in the middle of the nite surely helps u to find back a part of urself or should i say myself!.. *goD bless*

{ 6/26/2005 02:09:00 AM }

narcissism.

jEaNne Neo
14 mAy 1986
TaurUs/tIgresS
mFps, xMss, nyjC and sMa-sch of managemeNt
lOves sunFlowers, roseS, puRple, perFumes, clotHes!!!!, shOpping, eatIng, hangIng out with freNz, golden tAn n my family

materialist.

i want this

A better working environment
Good break
Sleep
10kg of fats off my body
Driving license
New cupboard.. i need more space for my clothes!
Killer abs so i can pierce my bellybutton!
Treat my family to dinner
Degree
A shoes cupboard for all my shoes!!!

voices.

memories.

February 2005 March 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 May 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 December 2008

thanks.

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