Wednesday, June 29, 2005.

Ok.. sOmething upsetting happened yesterday nite!! i received the rejection letter for my appeal.. i received it again today!! fUck.. they actually send me twice... daMn it.. i was really distress seeing the stupid letter.. i tot finally i get to go NTU but hu noes.. it is a REJECTION letter!!!!!! i know i should stop dreaming on to go NTU wif such fuck up results.. i even stayed up late to email the dean of admission to seek for exceptional case for me but he replied me so promptly today tat it is really impossible for me to go NTU.. and i decided to give NTU a miss.... i tot i could still go SIM but after seeking much understanding from the bankz.. i cant go SIM due to the high demands for guarantor and none of my family members actually fits into the bill.. shArkz!!!!
Honestly, i did not want to work for a year.. i m afraid.. i m scared that i would be drifted from my frenz n i would not click wif them anymore coz i m in the working world n they r in the studying world.. i somehow envy them.. coz to be able to study is really a bliss to me right now!!! Deep down inside me the fear is building so fast that i can hardly breathe.. i really kan de kai but i juz afraid of being the outcast... i m scare that ppl start to ask me y and how come i m not studying this yr.... how would they think of me??? i m undergoing loads of emotional stress from within.. i din wanna be the extra one in cliques... i really dun wish to!!!!
I juz realised tat my mom actually cares about my studies when i told her tat i was rejected once again.. i was complaining to WaiTing yesterday nite about my mom not even bothered to help me out.. i guessed tat she heard those words and early this morning she had been calling up the banks for me.. i think i m kinda wrong about my mom.. she cares but in the different ways.. went to an interview today for a permanent job at the company named "profitable plots" in tanjong pagar.. n i juz feel that the director likes me... heHe.. after asking 1-2 qns, i was being taken for the job as receptionist.. and the pay is 1200 and after 3 mths of probation.. if my performance is gd, the pay can b negotiated again.. i will prove it and seek for higher pay.. i m proud of myself.. being only 19 this yr.. i m able to be in a gd private company with loads of ppl who r much more experience than me and are able to guide me thru.. as compared to ppl who r of my age, i guess they mite not even b able to meet up wif such ppl and learn wat i m learning rite now.. i like the company structure and the working environment is kinda warm and comfortable.. thank god tat i've met erika hu is like an older sis to me taking care of me and providing me with the great opportunities out there in the real society.. the direction told me tat if i m interested to learn how to sell lands, i can juz ask.. m i blessed in another way???
Since i m the eldest, i must learn to sacrifice to meet the end of my family rite now.. n i learn the cruelty of life.. money plays a big role... u haf $$, ppl would not look down on u even though u r juz an A lvl holder.. my dream of getting a BMW at the age of 30.. i m working hard towards it.. :).. haIz.. another thing which i m rather upset is tat i haf to work from 3-9pm and 11-5pm on sat.. which means no more social life for me.. except sundays.. but when my frenz starts to study.. they too r busy so guess there r not much diff.. starting work next mon.. shall c how it goes.. n i muz wear office wear.. *grOanz*

{ 6/29/2005 05:47:00 PM }

narcissism.

jEaNne Neo
14 mAy 1986
TaurUs/tIgresS
mFps, xMss, nyjC and sMa-sch of managemeNt
lOves sunFlowers, roseS, puRple, perFumes, clotHes!!!!, shOpping, eatIng, hangIng out with freNz, golden tAn n my family

materialist.

i want this

A better working environment
Good break
Sleep
10kg of fats off my body
Driving license
New cupboard.. i need more space for my clothes!
Killer abs so i can pierce my bellybutton!
Treat my family to dinner
Degree
A shoes cupboard for all my shoes!!!

voices.

memories.

February 2005 March 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 May 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 December 2008

thanks.

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