Tuesday, January 10, 2006.

Hmm.. juZ kinda glad tat my blogskinz is up again!!! i hate seeing the error msg so i refused to blog! hehE... well.. gEri n andY is finally back n it is really sweet of geri to haf bought me a puppet but i m really feeling bad at the same time coz i dun kinda like it.. not coz it is nt nice or wat but more of me being afraid of puppets.. ok! i m admit i m super timid la.. will think tat the puppet will make noise or move by itself at nite.. hmm.. tot of giving to a rightful owner who will treasure this.. n today office is really bad.. the lift isnt working n the worst part is tat the whole flight of stairs is in total darkness!!! the lights r not working!! n it is so scary to walk down the stairs.. we had to put candles n valli missed a step... she almost fell luckily she was holding to the handle.. c how bad it was... hereby.. i gonna pronounced something!! i HATE RITA!!! she is a bloody lazy/messy bitch! she is always hogging on the phone not doing the work which was given to her! i cant stand it... n best of all, she backstabbed ppl! a snake with 2 heads... better dun let me hear anything arbo i will give her a fucking gd time... n i mean it!! this kinda person muz make sure she learnt her lesson.. almost everyone in the office is being stabbed by her... argh!!! n she is damn punctual in going home but not coming to work n from lunch!!! she cant be bothered if i go for food.. next time i juz wont b bothered as well.. i really cant believe tat given 4hrs before i came in wth is she doing lehz.. all the work is like done the minimum... if it was me, the work probably finished in 2hrs or less... argh!!! she really makes my blood boil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to haf such colleague is like throwing a pile of shit right in front of your door steps.. stink like mad!!!!!! LOL! ok.. shall nt complain anymore...

well... i should say these few days or perhaps a week, i haf been really down in the inside.. perhaps pms? i dunno.. but really down.. i feel kinda empty.. i feel life is juz so boring.. i feel like is juz so meaningless.. i feel so lost... i feel so helpless... i feel so alone.. i feel so tired!!! i really din noe y m i feeling so but seriously i mite appear to b smiling but inside i felt really horrible... i feel like crying but no tears! probably in some point in time u will haf down times.. juz felt tat my life is really tough esp last 1+ yrs.. n although i haf tones of great frenz around me to support me, i still feel really weak both mentally n physically.. wat i m going thru is alot of mental torment... yet i gonna carry on standing strong coz i noe how big a part i m playing.. i m really tired, really really tired.. i juz wished to take a break n go away alone where i can juz get myself engergised to fight on.. i haf been fighting real hard last yr n though things r better now.. i still gonna hang on tightly.. the kinda loneliness can nv be cured with frenz around coz is deep down inside.. 2005 is a super tiring yr for me n 2006 will be one as well.. i juz felt so helpless at times~ n seriously i really hate ppl asking me these few qns: "jeanne,when r u going back sch?", "jeanne,where will u be studying?", " jeanne, wat course would u b taking?", "jeanne,how much haf u saved?" or telling me these "jeanne,muz remember to save money" , "jeanne,go back sch this yr".. yes.. i noe ppl who said these meant well.. but it is my future i noe wat to do with it.. i will plan n nid not other ppl to plan for me.. i walked my own life not others.. all these does not help me but rather add on to the pressure i had... going back sch is definitely but when i've got plans.. n i noe wat is best for me n my family... i aint like normal ppl who can go study like they wished n let the parents pay or worry about the $$.. i gonna get everything myself! i worry for myself not my parents..i m burden with tonnes of responsibilities n commitments... unlike many of other teenagers.. so pls stop bugging me with all these unnecessary qns n the-really-out-of-concern sentences.. n sincerely, i wished to behave like young kids n let my parents do all the worrying n be the one solving the probs.. i wished to haf a life like many teenagers haf... but i CANT! i m forced to grow up n face many realities at a faster pace n earlier age.. which result in me maturing so much more faster compared to ppl of my age.. this yr i gonna b 20 which means even more gonna come my way.. my life doesnt belong to me but others.. i m juz so sick n tired... haiZ!!!

{ 1/10/2006 12:23:00 AM }

narcissism.

jEaNne Neo
14 mAy 1986
TaurUs/tIgresS
mFps, xMss, nyjC and sMa-sch of managemeNt
lOves sunFlowers, roseS, puRple, perFumes, clotHes!!!!, shOpping, eatIng, hangIng out with freNz, golden tAn n my family

materialist.

i want this

A better working environment
Good break
Sleep
10kg of fats off my body
Driving license
New cupboard.. i need more space for my clothes!
Killer abs so i can pierce my bellybutton!
Treat my family to dinner
Degree
A shoes cupboard for all my shoes!!!

voices.

memories.

February 2005 March 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 May 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 December 2008

thanks.

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