Saturday, August 04, 2007.

i was browsing through almost everyone's blog on my list for updates.. when you are bored in office or feeling abit sian from work, a gd break is to check out your frenz blogs for updates to see how they are doing.. somehow i had loads of thoughts after scanning through wei jia's blog about r/s... i wanted to blog abt my thoughts long ago but until know i couldnt consolidate my thoughts and opinions...

I realise that when i am in a r/s, i am vulnerable in fact super vulnerable... easily teared for whatever reasons esp during quarrels.. Like what wei jia said, generally all my frenz colleagues and family felt that i am very strong mentally.. i am but when it comes to r/s, i realise i m weak..
why i say so? i realise it is damn difficult for me to let go of the feelings or r/s i had with the other party that's properly the reason why i can crashed on a guy for 6 goddamn years..
To me, being in a r/s now makes me realise that i just couldnt imagine life being single again.. the sense of lost and loneliness, emptiness and sadness are unbearable coz i was almost to that stage and each time i would surrender and give in.. (ps. it wasnt anyone's fault is that i always wanna run away instead of facing it) I agree totally that being in a r/s, the kinda mental support and the i-will-always-be-there-when-you-needed-me feeling is great.. in a r/s, i wanna be treated gently and not harshly and love to be care and doted... i wanna those kinda sweet talks that will send me smilely idiotly to myself... i wanna more spices in the r/s so as to keep it interesting.. I always look at other r/s and got jealous on how my gfs are so happy with their bfs but of coz they do have their down times.. i can nv have enuff of the surprise and constantly seeking for more... i wanted all those warmth from the other party to make me feel loved and lady.. god..i think i asked for too much, don't any of you think so??? (i just hope my dear bf dont get the wrong idea abt this post, purely my thoughts/opinions)

It seems that i am like fiona getting more brand conscious.. i seriously is.. i placed my eyes on a lv wallet, gucci wallet and ferragamo bag... and i am increasing my expectation for price of clothings.. izit due to my pay??? hmmm.. nope.. i gathered that when one gets older, brand does matter a little and having one of those luxurious items seems great..

I felt utterly disgusted with myself coz i feel like a walking piece of fat!!! fats daggling from all over my body... eeks.... i hate it yet lazy.. gonna gear up myself to exercise.. anyway, i am planning to get my belly button pierced so which means i need flat abs... also, i m having this great urge to tatto something nice on the hip bone area coz i fell in love with the look of it from one poster i saw in club... anyone interested to design a nice pic for me.. not too big ok.. mayb half a palm size?? hehe.. amazingly, my little sis said when she grow up she wanna tattoo a cobra on her... haha.. little kids nowadays..

{ 8/04/2007 04:19:00 PM }

narcissism.

jEaNne Neo
14 mAy 1986
TaurUs/tIgresS
mFps, xMss, nyjC and sMa-sch of managemeNt
lOves sunFlowers, roseS, puRple, perFumes, clotHes!!!!, shOpping, eatIng, hangIng out with freNz, golden tAn n my family

materialist.

i want this

A better working environment
Good break
Sleep
10kg of fats off my body
Driving license
New cupboard.. i need more space for my clothes!
Killer abs so i can pierce my bellybutton!
Treat my family to dinner
Degree
A shoes cupboard for all my shoes!!!

voices.

memories.

February 2005 March 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 May 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 December 2008

thanks.

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